2012 started off quietly enough for me. Still a "Kendalian" in Miami at the time, I found myself in the closest thing to an actual relationship in my entire life. I will admit however, that it was an experiment of sorts. I wanted to see how far I could push things. When all was said & done, ways were parted, emotions were left shaken, and lessons were learned. I can safely say that I now know the difference between infatuation & love, the latter being something that I'm not particularly sure I have fully experienced yet. I've become somewhat colder, rather, guarded, in that department. I know now not to throw everything out there (at least not at the very beginning), to play it a bit more on the safe side. I'm currently getting a feel for new people in my life, & keeping my expectations at a low simmer.
As if the breakup at the time wasn't enough for this sardonic little crab, I then found myself done with the company that I had worked 7 years for. I'm reminded of Lauryn Hill's lyrics "They fired me or I quit/however do you want it" regarding how it happened. What I do know is that there's never a good time to lose a job, but damn if there couldn't have been a worse time. For the next couple of months, I struggled to keep a very delicate balance between unemployment & a series of odd jobs. I became a kids' party host, to which my immediate supervisor was an 18 year old girl, and the manager being someone whom I spoke to over the phone (or rather, got assaulted via audio by his babbling nonsense for minutes upon minutes at a time), but never met in person, despite the fact that I had been to his "headquarters" (his house with his live in girlfriend [that being the said 18 y.o. supervisor, did I mention that he was 30 something & would have conversations with her over the phone, IN the same house?]) several times. Shady much? True story, bro.
Along with that, I also finally had time to become an extra with a talent agency that I had joined in 2011 but never had the time to take advantage of. I must say that it's pretty friggin cool to say that my very first project was a Suzy Orman ad & a clean 5 bills, not too shabby for someone who's last foray into acting was playing Dracula in the 5th grade (I had 7 wives at 10 years old. And what.). From there, I was blessed to get work on Burn Notice and The Glades.
Things were going pretty well as far as experiences went. But I was still hurting; financially, emotionally, creatively, spiritually. Prior to losing my job, I had booked a round trip to New York to visit my best friend at the time, as well as some old friends I hadn't seen in years. Among them was an old friend I knew since Kindergarten, and went to school with up until Junior High, but hadn't seen since. Through the magic of myspace (remember that site? I still have mine [shameless plug alert Myspace.com/embraceaudio], he had found me a few years ago. We messaged one another for a while, and he had mentioned if I was ever interested in coming back to NY, that he'd be able to hook me up with work. We dropped contact again for a bit, the big "Myspace to Facebook" shift occurred, and we found each other again. This time around, I was pretty much jobless, without a romantic attachment, and completely discontent with my scenery. At random, I shot him a message, asking him if he still had the pull to find me work, had I wanted to move back. Thankfully, he was, and we decided to meet up at some point during my trip. The day finally came, and we did some catching up. What I hadn't mentioned up to this point is that, the last time I had known him, his "life path", if you will, was not looking too good. He'd been hanging out with the wrong crowd, getting in trouble with teachers & other students, etc. Gone was this adolescent kid, and in his place was a structured, well spoken, responsible family man. This kind of change is something that doesn't happen overnight, and as I had expected, he had been through quite a bit. I was happy to see that he was in a much better place, and it was in no small part due to him becoming a Christian (I choose to tell the rest of that story in another entry, as I feel it would be too much to digest in tandem with everything else). To state it briefly, he had been through a whole lot; things that most others would not have made it through without someone watching over them.
I spent the better part of that day at his home, where I met his wife & kids. We discussed my situation; how I had been wanting to move back for the longest time, but due to circumstance, personal fears, and responsibilities, I never had the chance. Another major issue was having a place to stay. Much to my surprise, he offered me a room in his house to stay, so I could find work, get back on my feet, and eventually move the family over from Miami. It was pretty much an offer that I couldn't refuse (that just happened). Now I just needed time to prepare. So over the course of the next couple of months, I started to get ready. I got a part time job selling women's shoes just to keep the lights on till it was time for me to leave, this in combination with the odd-job party company. There was a large amount of worrying, wondering if this was going to be something I'd regret, but I went forward regardless. Regardless of the doubts I had, that my friends and family in Miami had, I went forward. I kept in contact with my friend, and the crazy idea of him flying down to Miami and driving with me to NY came up. At that point, I needed all the motivation I could get in order to leave, so I agreed. I also had my best friend at the time coming down to join us for the ride, so that definitely helped in the motivation department.
The day in July finally came, tears were shed, goodbye's were made, and we were off. Needless to say, I have no particular desire to ever want to make that drive again, unless absolutely necessary. But it wasn't all bad, there were some great memories made; a lot of "you had to be there" type moments.
Thanks to my friend, I myself became a Christian, and I landed a job at the 2012 US Open, where I made some business connections, and a few friends as well. I had nothing but a positive experience there, and I told them to keep me in mind for next year's tournament, and for anything else they knew of. I found myself unemployed once again, in debt, looking for work. I owed bills, with my car payments being at the forefront of my financial burdens. Thanks to my Cousin, I found front desk work at a doggy daycare place in the city - again, just to keep the lights on, because I most definitely did not have the most fantastic time there. During that time, I was contacted by someone at the World's Greatest Arena, aka The Garden, aka Madison Square Garden, for a job. An interview was scheduled, meaning I was that much closer to being done with the poopy job I was in. As fate might have it, Sandy hit. Thankfully, everyone in my household as well as my loved ones all over NY were safe. The biggest impact was the damage to my car, my friend's car, and pretty much all of the cars on that block, including the cars of my friend's Landlord, and the entire first floor of the house. Little did I know that the flooding in my car would serve as a blessing in disguise. I was informed that the rainwater mixed with the saltwater causes corrosion to all the metal in the car, thusly deeming it a "total loss". So most of the car was paid off from my finance & insurance company, translating into me not having to worry about a monthly bill that I practically couldn't afford to begin with. There was that period where getting around was practically impossible. Busses & trains were shut down due to all the reparations that would be needed over the next several weeks. That was probably the scariest thing to me. Having lived in Miami for so many years, I knew what it was like to experience a hurricane. But it's almost as if Florida is geographically built to withstand most of the impact. New York on the other hand, is most definitely not, and I hope & pray that we can somehow be better prepared in the future, though there's only so much we can do. Eventually transport started returning to normal, and an interview date was set.
Before I knew it, I landed the job, and was working at the Garden for the season. Since then, I've made more connections, both professionally and personally. The season has ended for now, and hopefully I will be called back. In the meantime, I'm back where I began nearly a year ago, working at the Open, with the same core group of great individuals that I worked with before. The familiarity is definitely a welcomed element, even though I have a brand new role this time around.
I feel like this entry has gone on long enough, and if you've made it this far, thanks for reading. Long story short, the blessings have not stopped coming for me. It hasn't been easy, and it may sound cliché, but believe me when I say that it is thanks in no small part due to the fact that I've given my life to my Lord & Savior Jesus Christ & kept my faith. Even now, I see many of my friends & family stressing over so much; letting fear, anxiety, and anger overtake them. If there's any one thing about me that has changed since getting saved, it's definitely been the amount of security, trust, and patience that I place in Him, that allows me to get through everything, no matter how minute or major. I truly hope & pray that this can be something that all of my loved ones come to know. Don't get me wrong - this does not by any means make me or my life perfect. I've struggled. I continue to struggle; with myself, with my beliefs, my lusts, and last but not least, my friends & family. But I pray. I always pray, and having experienced going from no job, an empty wallet, & a broken heart, to several new jobs, experiences, obtaining financial stability, having people in my life who care about me as much as I do them, and a blossoming relationship with a girl whom I come to appreciate more and more each day, it's been a great ride thus far. All the struggle was worth it. All the struggle is worth it.
Earlier this past year, there was one single precursor to everything that was to come. It may have just been the spark that lit my fire, and it came to me from a place that I definitely did not expect, when I watched Sherri Sheperd get eliminated from Dancing With The Stars. Overcome with emotion, she said, "That thing that scares you the most, that makes you say, ‘I don’t know if I can do it, I’m scared — run towards it because it’s so amazing on the other side.”
Having made it to the other side myself, I can fully attest to that statement.
God Bless
-CC
Catching up on your blog dawg
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